The Stacy Chronicles

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Adjustments…Loosing M.

They will be coming to get M in a couple of minutes.  I can already tell you that loosing a foster child when there are other children in the home is much harder.  M was only suppose to be with us over the weekend….that is why we agreed to keep her.  We didn’t know how it would affect E to have a long-term placement.  He had only been with us a month or so when we took M in.  We figured a weekend wouldn’t hurt him.  From the beginning we made sure to make it very clear that this was “his” home, and we were “his” mommy and daddy.  We told him he needed to be kind and share us with M while she stays with us for a little while.  He wanted to know where her mommy was and where her home was and questioned us the first few nights about when she was leaving.

We found out Wednesday they were taking her to live with her siblings in another home.  We were very happy about that because we strongly feel siblings should not grow up alone in “the system”.  We have no idea how long she will be in care, but it could be a while.

E took the news pretty well, I guess.  We told him before we announced it at church.  He asked us “Why?”, “When I gonna see her again?”, “Where is her home Mommy?”  Last night, when I got him to tell her goodbye and give her a kiss, was the worst.  He started crying and asking all the same questions.  I just held him and we cried together.  He broke my heart.  We know this is what is best for her, but it still hurts to see your child sad.

We are planning on taking the boys to the zoo tomorrow.  We think it is important to do something special for E.  He has had to share his mommy and daddy with two babies!  We haven’t gotten out of the house except for worship for the last 3 weeks.  I know it has been very hard on him.  He had all Jeff and my attention for over a month and then he had barely any.  I think things will get a little easier for him now.

Our worse fear was that he will question his stability in our home.  So far, no signs of that…but we have been coaching and prepping him along the way.  He even has his own little story about his life that I made.   He is able to read it and it tells about him being a part of our family.  I have hung family pictures all over the house and there are pictures of him at bath-time in the bathroom.  He loves to talk about how pretty they are and show them off.  When he looks at our family picture of us sitting on our porch he will say, “Look Mommy, I at home!”  and he will say, “I so happy Mommy!”  It’s then I know we are doing what is right.

He woke in the middle of the night last night crying for me.  This is the first time he has done this.  I don’t know if it has any connection with M leaving today or not.  I just held him and he said he was “real thirsty”, so I gave him some water.  I hope he doesn’t have anymore nightmares.  He’s such a sweet little guy, I hope he will be okay.

Please pray for our family.